Let us run

Let me start by saying how thankful I am for this time of learning and humbling. Clint was supposed to have left with his parents for Oregon 2 days ago, our house is now listed for less than what it was when we bought it 4 years ago, and our dear friend is lying in a hospital bed in excruciating pain after yet another surgery. To say the least, nothing is going the way we planned it. We know that this is the way God usually works, right?, always orchestrating life so differently than what we see, or think we see. We are often guilty of attempting to normalize God, thinking that life should play out a certain way and questioning when it doesn't. We know that we should trust while waiting, but our heart is not always there. At some point though, we surrender...and stop doubting, stop wanting answers, stop reasoning, and we are able to praise our Lord for his unexplainable ways, his untameable ways.

Our friend in the hospital, RD, has ministered more to his visitors rather than the other way around. He is constantly showing gratitude to the nurses, even the janitorial staff. He offers life-giving words to the people around him while he fights for his life. His wife Jill has also been fighting, for joy and strength, and both have stood firm, unwavering in their faith, praising and thanking God along the way. So, let us thank God for his ways being so far from normal, and while we wait, let us run...let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us (Heb 12).

Rachel McKinnis

Waiting

Waiting on the Lord...
This has been an interesting phrase that has been on my heart for the last week or so. I understand that there is trust involved in waiting on something or someone, but how does that trust continue to build when times get tough? I have always found it easy to trust God and others when things are going well or situations are falling into place the way that I invision them; I am a little nervous to pray or ask God to teach me how to trust when things are not going exactly as planned! ha ha. I think He is teaching me this now whether I asked Him to or not. Stacie Nickelson shared a verse last week at house church that has stuck with me since then... Romans 8:24-25. It is the hope for what do not yet have, and wait patiently for that makes my heart and mind rest a little. I pray that as a team and individually we truly learn what it means to Wait On The Lord!

Current.

Greetings from Eugene. It is currently 12:57 a.m. and I am sitting in front of this MacBook with thoughts flowing through my mind that I can't seem to stop or even ignore to escape to my slumber.

So, I write.

I've found this blogging to be therapeutic at times; so, please excuse me while I take full advantage of this avenue of expression. I continue to sound like a broken record within my own head, questioning my purpose in Eugene. Somehow, I get swept up in this current of thoughts and feelings, and convince myself that I should doubt or feel uneasy. It would only make sense, in my finite mind, that if I am feeling peace through a time of unemployment and a decreased social network, that I have somehow missed it. I have been reading "The Shack" by William P. Young, and have learned a great deal from this brilliant, fictional story. Mack, the lead character, has built up a resistance to God because of some tragic events in his life, and has formulated questions needing answers. I know Mack. Mack is me...minus the tragic events. In this beautiful pursuit of God toward Mack, he learns of this amazing, unfailing love. All of these questions that he has angrily stashed away, come flooding out; however, it is not on his own agenda. God meets Mackenzie Phillips exactly where he stands, angry, bitter, and full of resentment.

In the same way, I feel like I've built up all of these questions here in Eugene. I want God to answer them all now, leaving out no details. Throughout the story, God appears to Mack as a glowing, older African-American woman. Now, we could probably debate at this point about God being a man or woman, but we'll save that for another time (or maybe not another time). The point of God's female appearance is that He was exactly who Mack needed Him to be. Mack needed to know that God is compassionate and gentle, much like a loving grandmother. It is also important to point out that God's purpose in all of this was to glorify Himself more through Mack's life. He works through all things to glorify Himself. That's not egocentric. That's God.

God continues to reveal Himself more fully to us, the city Eugene, and the whole world. He meets us where we're at for His sake and for His glory. Isn't it beautiful? Please continue to pray that we will get lost in God's current, taking us wherever He wants us to be.

Sleep awaits. Goodnight.

colb

Cheap Reminder

A few of us went to see the second Narnia movie today at the $1.50 place. This is the second time I've seen it. The first time was back in Indy, at a time when I was not happy about moving to Eugene. A few scenes stick in my mind...
One is where and entire army is charging across a bridge. On the other side stands Lucy, a small girl with a small dagger. She stands with no fear in her eyes as the army charges because she knows who is beside her and who is really going to fight the battle, Aslan. Lucy to me, represents faith.
The other scene only became clear today. At the end, Aslan opens a door to the other world (our world) and asks who wants to go through. At the time, I felt like I was standing at that door and had to choose whether or not I would follow what was in front of me. It was just one of those moments where I thought, "Really? Am I really going to do this?"
After seeing that movie the first time, I had a bit of a break down. I didn't want to leave my friends and family. I fought with God and I sat on a friend's porch and cried quite a bit. I had to remind myself to have faith, like Lucy on the bridge, that God knows what He is doing and I can trust Him, even if it means moving to the other side of the country.
Seeing this today, I wish I could say that it was completely different this time. I feel more like an ant with a bread crumb than a girl with a dagger- even smaller and completely ill prepared for what's in front of me. What could I possibly do here in the place with my bread crumb? Why did I move here? But yet again, I had to remember my calling, who is beside me, and who is really going to take care of everything- Liam Neeson. I MEAN- Jesus.
(That reminder only cost a dollar fifty. I have a feeling the others will not come so cheap.)
-CJ (aka Carol)

Goodness

Why hello there!

So we had our first house church in Eugene last Wed. At that point I realized that I had refused to process anything really, and it definitely flooded over me. Very intensely. So I decided to process. And since then I have been denied the one job I was kind of counting on (mostly because it was the only one that I saw was available), and I started to worry about money. Which is kind of rare for me. And I hated it. I found myself in this balancing act between hoarding what money I have left for the future, and wanting to be as free with my money as I usually am. After talking with a few wiser than me people, I realized two major things. Number one, it is a balancing act, but how much am I really trusting God if I find myself trying to control my financial fate. And number two, give my time! That is something that I have so much of right now that I NEVER do. Such simple solutions.

I love God and the way He works. I was struggling because I didn't feel like I was living into who God has called me to be; I felt very much like a failure. But since realizing and processing, I feel like I've been switched on. Jobs that I normally wouldn't have thought of, but find myself passionate towards keep popping up. Mind you, I don't have one yet, but just the prospect is exciting. I went to the market today, just to hang out. It was fabulous. I've found a spot I want to be a part of. It's outside the courthouse, and almost feels like an alternative to the consumer-ness of the market. A group of guys sit around and play drums, and cowbell (which i so hoped to here more of:)) and other random instruments. Groups of kids, who seemed a little ragged, hung out with each other. A little girl sat and swapped fruit with me. Random guys were sword fighting with duct taped whiffle bats. A guy wearing just a kilt and rope shoes sat smoking through this odd shaped leather pipe for hours. Lots of weed. I had such an emotional response of joy and pain for humanity. I loved it. Sarah

A cup o' Joe, a lost application, and a parking ticket...

Hey there!

Things here in Eugene seem to be heating up quite a bit. The weather has been abnormally hot the past couple of days reaching the mid to high 90's. We hear that Indiana has had some "Eugene-like weather". I can't lie; I'm a little upset about that. So...it's been a pretty busy week this past week, as searching for jobs has overtaken most of our lives. Drew, Derek, and I have managed to step away from that for a few hours to play the occasional game of frolf. We originally thought it would be good to get away from the frustration of not finding jobs just yet, but quickly realized that the frolf course out here is HARD. So, we continue to play trying to conquer what seems to be unconquerable (is that a word?).

Two days ago I decided to go downtown to have a cup of coffee at the local Starbucks because I received a gift certificate from Jenny before I left for Oregon. As I was sitting there reading outside a gentleman approached me asking for some spare change to buy a cup of coffee. Startled, I looked up to see a man dressed in dirty clothes, enveloped with a full beard, and wearing a ball cap to cover his "not-so-clean" hair. After buying him a cup of coffee in at Starbucks I invited him to sit down with me. He hesitated, but then gladly accepted. As we sat there and talked over the next hour, I learned all about Ward's family, past jobs, and current struggles. Ward is epileptic. It's hard for him to get a job because of the severity of condition. (Time out: I could sit here and type out Ward's life story, but I will not drag this out) I tell you this to share the battles that were taking place within my own heart. I sat there genuinely interested, but found myself judging whether his story was true or not. Maybe he really didn't have epilepsy... Maybe his second wife really didn't die of alcoholism... Or maybe I had painted Ward with the wrong brush. Were we all not painted with God's beautiful brush from the beginning? God has really shown me a new type of love the past couple of days. I continue to pray, and would ask for you all to as well, for a greater love for God's people here in Eugene.

After our conversation I headed over to the public library to sign up for my new library card. After I signed up, I headed up to the Internet room to finish a job application and print it off. After working on the application for about an hour I discovered my time on the computer was almost up (there was a 60 minute limit). I pressed print, and then headed over to the printer to collect my work. It didn't print. I repeated the process, but still received no results. I inquired about the status of my application if my time ran out on the computer, and the response was, "You'll lose everything." Great! This was just wonderful. After a few troubleshooting processes, the printing failed. I panicked, and then realized I was helpless. I lost it all. After talking with one of the library staff members, I started for the car. I walked out only to find a parking ticket....FOR $30!!!!! Lesson learned....don't overpark in Eugene, Oregon.

By this time I was very frustrated, and really wanted to give up for the day. I had started to believe that I would not be able to get this position because of the computer malfunction. Isn't God much larger than this? Drew and I were talking the other evening about the need for God because of the way He works through ALL things. God's going to provide jobs for us, not by our strength and timing, but by His. Please pray that we all enter into a state of submission to Him through this difficult time of finding jobs in a community whose job market is poor. We love you all, and I hope things are well back in Indiana (or wherever you're reading this from)!

-colb

Starting to feel like home

Hi friends! As previously noted in the post before this one we made it to EUGENE! This is Stacie here writing to you from our lovely shaded apartment, which is GREAT because it's 98 degrees outside and the apartments here don't have air conditioning. No worries though for it does feel pretty cool inside, unless you play Dance Dance Revolution then it's just stinkin hot. ;) The picture of us girls up there are who are sharing this apartment. Sarah is on the left, CJ in the middle, and I am on the right. It's a little blurry, but it basically shows us at our finest!! Then ya got me hanging out of the truck...don't worry, I'm smart enough to know not to drive a truck like that. :) And the last picture is the view CJ got the whole journey across the US. She even had to put her hazards on going up the mountain for the good ole' Penske Truck wasn't enjoying the climb up the "hills". You would have never guessed that with the crazy fast speed of 35 miles an hour she got going up the "hills". Don't underestimate the craziness of these "hills" as they say over here. They were MADNESS!!!! Yes, I survived, but was pretty scared traveling up them. It's ok, we got here safe and sound! Thank goodness! I think one thing pretty much all of us agree on is that we don't want to drive across the country again for a long time nor are we going to move any time soon! :)

One really great thing about where we are all living is that we are all walking distance from each other. We couldn't believe how that worked out and are pretty blessed by it! God knows what He is doing and has been completely faithful to us in that aspect! :)

We just need prayer right now and would love for you to join us in prayer for these things: 6 of us don't have jobs so it's a hard time on the team, Clint and Rachel's house hasn't been sold yet, but we are praying confidently that it will be sold soon so they can get out here and join us, prayer for the fact that we are miles and miles away and we are starting to feel the reality of how hard it is to not be in Indy, prayer for RD Reid and his family as he was in a lawn mower accident a couple of days ago and has no movement from his waist down and has extensive burns to his right side of his body (currently he is in the burn unit at Wishard), and pray that we love each other in the places where we are at wherever that may be. Each day is different and new, and causes all of us to go through so many different emotions. We are just starting to adjust to a new place, which means getting lost a lot and not having a clue where anything is yet. We are excited to be here and know God is with us out here!

Much love to you all! We do think about you, our friends and family, a lot and appreciate all of you!

Stacie :)

New and Confused

So, here we are sitting on our new front porch (concrete slab really), and enjoying a lovely Oregon night.  Staci and I are really excited to be here, mostly because the driving and unpacking are over.  We have been in Eugene for 5 days now and are adjusting to a new town, new apartment, and a whole new time zone.  We have gone out on little exploratory adventures to check out the city, but have found out that we have no idea where anything is.  As I drive, I have the map in one hand, and the "I'm sorry I cut you off wave" motioning with the other.  But, it is fun to get lost and confused, at least that is what I keep telling Staci!  We have experienced some pretty cool things the past few days, but I think the coolest experience came tonight.  You see, one thing I have been praying and meditating on since we have been here is to take my time and just "be" in the day I am in.  My mind tends to meander its way to ideas that I don't want to have.  Does that make sense?  If not, then welcome to my world, ha!  So, I am trying to take it all in and just enjoy the day-to-day experiences.  Of course, I want to meet people, start lovin' on them, make them my friends, have them over for coffee and conversation, and show them Christ.  However, I must rest in the fact that God is perfect and His timing is perfect just the same.  So, I am realizing that it is my job to enjoy the newness and confusion that is upon me in my new home.  Oh, I almost forgot to tell you about tonight.  Staci and I are just sitting down to dinner, delicious homemade hawaiian pizza, when one of our neighbors and his friend walk up.  We have not met our new neighbor yet, so this is the first chance we get.  The first thing I notice is that he has two recognizable items in his had...frisbees for disc golf!  Awesome! Anyways, we begin to talk with the two guys, both name Aaron, and have a great conversation. Our neighbor is excited to find out that we are here in a Church planting effort because although he is not a church-goer, he is looking forward to having deep spiritual conversations with me.  I say great, bring it on.  And then I think, crap, I better get studying!  It was the first real conversation Staci and I have had with anyone here, and it is encouraging.  We are trying to be in today, and tomorrow, we will be in tomorrow.  God is working here in Eugene.  We are humbled to be with Him here.  Have a great week everyone!