Strings of memories

I don't know where to start with this. To be honest, I've tried to write this little journal entry 2 previous times (both of them I deleted). So I sit here procrastinating other things to attempt try #3.

In my staff lounge there are some things hanging on the wall. There's 2 long thin pieces of string with small, cute paper clips attached. Attached to those paper clips are little squares of fabric. On the little pieces of fabric are memories written down for two incredible special ladies. Both are co-workers. One string belongs to a lady who was diagnosed with a brain tumor last spring and is currently not doing well. The other string belongs to a lady who has stage 4 lung cancer and has never smoked in her life. Oh they are beautiful strings of memories.

I wrote one today and clipped it on the string. I have one more to write and have until tomorrow to write it and am still unable to think of what to put on that little piece of fabric. Oh string of memories you are seriously breaking my heart.

I love this little project and it brings me so much joy. It's a gift that I know these ladies will truly love and cherish. Yet all I can do is cry thinking about it because I can see the faces of the ladies reading, or have them read to them, the little pieces of fabric. And as I envision them reading them I see tears run down their faces. I know they will be tears of joy.

So as I process this holiday season I am starting to think more and more about what I would write on a little piece of fabric for the people in my life that I care about. I challenge you to think more about how much people mean to you during this season and maybe even pass them a note telling them so.

Much love,
Stacie :)

He uses the weak

These last several months we’ve been in the book of John. Just a couple of weeks ago we came to the story of Jesus and the Samaritan woman. There is such beauty in this interaction. As I read and prayed over the passage I realized that this encounter is completely loaded with truth, challenge, and love. One thing that really struck me that I’d never really noticed before is the utter beauty in the Samaritan woman being the one to share the truth of the Messiah with her town.

The Samaritans already were looked down upon because of their history and the fact that they were “half breeds.” I know this sounds harsh, but it’s just the way it was then. Back in the day these were some of the people corrupting the Jews because they did not worship God. However, some began to learn. So, already she was of low status because of these things; then, on top of it all, she herself was an outcast within her own culture because of the lifestyle that had caused her to have many husbands, etc. Sadly, she was the low of the low. She didn’t even go to collect water at the well during the cool hours of the morning and likely because she made every effort to avoid the company of the other woman that surely had a poor opinion of her.

But, the beauty of it is Jesus goes out of his way to show up at this well when she is there. He speaks to her and surfaces her life of many husbands. He shares with her that He has a fulfilling and abundant life to offer her and tells that He is the Messiah she’s heard about. When she hears this she runs directly to an audience who doesn’t think the best of her, she openly exposes herself to them again but this time with hope, “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Christ?” And, they immediately leave the town and follow her to Jesus.

“Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth.

But, God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.

He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are…” 1 Cor. 1:26-29

God can use, will use, and does use the most unlikely (in our minds, or society) people to reveal Himself and His glory. I want to invite this into my life. I want to leave that opportunity open to all, not just the people who make me feel comfortable or good about my own status.

And, shouldn’t I, then, desire to be weak and low and despised in this world?

Staci N.

life.is.messy.

life is messy, right? well, it might not be messy to some people and i really can't speak for everyone. i'll just speak for me. my life, in it's current state, is messy. i live by my regular day to day activities, while juggling the other stuff that suddenly just pops up out of nowhere, which is usually the messy stuff. by messy i mean, being hurt, stresses, unrealistic expectations, or anything that you can think of and remember that is usually, but not always, negative.

in these moments i really try to dig deep into God. i have prayed, read, and listened to music that help soothe my soul, yet i still feel empty, but i don't feel alone. i even tried to repeat over and over again that i am ok. i was not ok and it's ok that i wasn't ok. life.is.messy. david understood that in the psalms. he got it and helps me to be ok with not always being ok.

part of me fights to keep everything together at all times. seriously, ugh, i hate that about me. who really wants to admit that you aren't ok? what good does it do to hold it all inside? i know i'm not freed from a lot of my junk when i keep it all inside that's for sure.

thank you God for your patience in your body. we don't get it half the time, well maybe like most of the time. there is nothing more than a body of believers getting together, sharing in their own messiness, and being freed. it makes me want to share, to be real, to be vulnerable, and to not be fearful that i am living life along. i want to meet people where they are in their own brokenness. we are all jaded, hurt, and live in some pretty messy lives. my life might not seem that messy to you or your life might not seem that messy to me, but somehow, someway, we are learning how to meet each other right where we are. God is definitely up to something bigger with us. He's even up to something bigger with His church.

John 10:10 is what i hear when i can't hear anything else.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

much love,
stacie :)

What a weekend!

This past weekend we had a group of 9 people come from Indiana and California. Paul, Marsha, and Caleb Schlegel, Brett and Claire Black, Adam and Rene Everhart, and Greg and Kim Snodgrass (I hope I spelled everyone's name right...). Anyway, they came late on Friday night and took a red-eye home on Sunday night. They came to spend some time with our church plant and help out with a community event our church hosted this past Sunday for the poor and hungry of Eugene.. The event was in partnership with a Christian ministry in Eugene called Free People (www.freepeopleeugene.com). Their mission is to serve the poor of Eugene/Springfield and they have been a tremendous blessing to Awakening Church. Anyway, we rented out a performance hall in Eugene and threw a party with free food, clothes, and live music. It was a great day and we served nearly 450 plates of food. We are so thankful for our friends from Indiana and California who sacrificed work days, money, and time away from family and friends to come and spend a couple of days with us. Their time and presence encouraged us so much. Our church loves it when people come and visit us. We love to host people and show off our city. So if you're thinking about coming out, we'd love to have you.

Anyway, thank you so much to our friends from Indiana and California who encouraged us so greatly this past weekend.

Just for the fun of it, I put up some recent photos of the family, Halloween, pumpkin patch, and this past weekend. Enjoy!

Clint

Grace

I am called to worship and live my life for Jesus. It's not just a calling, it's what gives me the most joy. Yet I fail so much at it. I'm not sure I will ever understand the full extent of grace, but one thing that sticks out to me the most is a psalm that talks about how we may stumble, but God will never let us trip. Thank goodness! I don't know about you, but there are so many times where I just feel like I am walking around, barely able to stand up anymore. We can easily stumble over anything, but God will not let me trip and fall down so hard that I just can't get up again. He's not going to beat me up, but I sure do.

Grace.

He does love me so much that he continues to grab me in His hands and balances me. I would say that I sometimes forget how much God loves me, but in actuality I think I forget that more than sometimes. I need help remembering that I am loved. It makes me extremely grateful, more than ever, to be journeying with people that share with me that I am loved and give me more grace than I deserve.

Grace and Love,
Stacie

This past year (plus a few months) has been a time that I cannot seem identify the stages, or the words with which to describe the stages, God has taken both my husband and I through (hence, the very few blogs!). 14 months ago Derek and I moved to Eugene with the purpose in mind of sharing abundant life, love and rescue offered through Jesus. Never had I imagined what God had in store for our own lives in order to experience that ourselves. And, it's funny now looking back and recalling Derek's boldness and prayer for God to bring suffering into our lives that we may grow and really experience Him...boy, oh boy!

The best I can think to describe this past year for us is a constant state of confusion. Confusion at what our lives are going to look like and how to pursue that next step when we don't even really know what we were stepping toward. I am coming to realize that perhaps the confusion comes from the fact that our hearts and perceptions have been taken to the furnace and are being reoriented from our old ways when the next step was clear to us: advance and climb the ladder this world has created. God has really been patient with us as we continue to learn what He values versus what this world values; and, unfortunately, what I had unknowingly begun to value over Him. While I continue to seek God's guidance and struggle to let go, I am thankful and hopeful that our pursuit is shifting from this "earn more" mentality to "seek ye first the kingdom..." While God could very rightfully keep us in a state of constant confusion as we grasp for some sort of handle of what's next, He is merciful and gives us these undeserved moments of grace and gifts of hope. God is God. He is not required to show any sort of tangible evidence that He is faithful and in control. And, I really ought to be able to just believe. Yet, He allows me a moment, an experience that I can grab onto and rejoice in. He is worthy.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Eph. 3:20-21

Staci

Chowder with Crowder

What a story I have to share with you! As many of you know, Elias has been a gigantic David Crowder fan since he was born (seriously). Anytime we would play David Crowder he would just chill out and just focus on the music. As he grew older he began to sing David Crowder songs and watch concerts of the David Crowder Band. His grandpa got him a guitar and he would play along and mimic everything David Crowder did on the DVD. In the last 6-9 months he began to get really into drums. He began talking about Bwack, the drummer for the David Crowder Band. He would set up boxes, clothes baskets, and pretty much anything else that made sounds and would bang those things like crazy. In all reality, Elias amazes me with his rhythmical ability at such a young age.

Anyway, a couple of months ago we heard that the David Crowder Band was coming to Eugene for their new Church Music concert. We freaked out needless to say. We told Elias about it and he freaked out! Well, in true Rachel and Clint form we procrastinated about buying our tickets until 2 days before the concert. Truly, we were hesitant in buying 3 tickets because it was pretty expensive for us. Two days before the concert, Rachel was listening to the Christian radio station and they had a contest to win 2 Tickets to the David Crowder Band Concert. On top of that, the winner would get to meet the band before the concert over some Clam Chowder Soup (hence "Chowder with Crowder"). Anyway, Rachel called in and submitted her name in the morning. I didn't think twice about it, but later that evening Rachel got a call from the radio station and she had won. ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!! We flipped out! (I would like to think that God was rewarding us for our procrastination but I don't think that's it...ha!) So we headed to the concert 2 days later and took Elias with us. We got to meet and hang out with the David Crowder Band and Elias got to talk with David Crowder and Bwack. Elias was kind of shy. I don't think he knew what the do since he watches them on TV all the time. Anyway, the band was so cool and friendly and we thanked them so much for their time. We took some pictures and then went to the concert. Elias had a blast and played the air drums all night long. It ended up being way past his bed time and he actually feel asleep for the last two songs.

It was an incredible night and Rachel and I were so grateful that God had given us this beautiful gift. Elias will never forget that experience. It kind of reminded us of Matthew 7:7-12. Rachel and I, not being nearly perfect, were able to give our son a good gift. How much more does our perfect father in heaven want to give good gifts to us. What an incredible God we serve!

Clint

P.S. Elias didn't want to stop and take pictures during the concert...thus the not so happy facial expressions...ha!

Few Words...Many Pics

So, I noticed that I haven't written since July 6th. Wow!!! My bad! There has been way too much happen since then for me to try to write it all. So I'll summarize the big things and then put some pics up for you all to check out. I do sincerely apologize for not writing in the last 2-3 months. I've just lost track of it and need to get on it again. Thank you to all who check this site and pray for us often.

A quick summary...

Jael moved from her crib to a big girl (twin size) bed. Rachel and kids frequented the local farms this summer to pick all kinds of berries...yum! We took the kids camping this summer, which they love doing. My sister and nephew visited from Indianapolis. Elias turned 4 and we had a great birthday party. We bought him a drum set for his birthday (pic to come soon) and we're wondering if that was a good or bad idea...ha! Our friend Jill Reid visited from Indiana and we were blessed to have her. My parents (and older sister) visited and were here for almost 2 weeks. Elias started pre-school 3 days/week and absolutely loves it. We went to the Ocean and the Portland Zoo. The kids played almost every day with their neighbor friends. We have 8 kids between the ages of 7 weeks - 4 years in our little corner of the apartment complex.

We had a great first summer in Eugene!!!

Blessings,

Cint

Roller coaster

I find it completely interesting how in a 24 hour time span I can go from completely relaxed and content to completely overwhelmed and stressed out. I do feel like my life is just on one crazy roller coaster and like it or not I'm on it for the ride.

Today I spent the bike ride commute home just desperately trying to find some calmness and peace in my endless thinking brain. I passed some turtles, ducks, too many bees to count, grasshoppers, and a whole lot of quietness. It was good. I realized that even though my brain wants to go really fast on that roller coaster my eyes can experience the life around me.

So I'm learning how to balance the times in my life where I want to find some peace and calm when my brain does not want to stop. I want to look more and see life, not have it just pass me by. God has created so many beautiful things that I want to see, not miss.

Enjoy life today, friends. Peace to you.

Much love,
Stacie :)

Dirt

Nothing makes me feel grosser than cleaning apartments before you have to move out. A year's worth of filth stares at you...taunting. I hate cleaning. Absolutely hate it. Not only am I surrounded by grossness, but it brings out the grossness in me. I turn into either this crazy barking obsessive jerk that likes to yell:) or I just fume, angry at myself and everyone around me for not cleaning earlier. And I hate being angry:) It definitely reminds me of my faults...which in the long run is good, but in the moment I completely hate it.

But...let me tell you what I love. I just got back from the redwoods...after talking about it for a year I finally went. And those trees are everything I had hoped they would be. Now I love trees:) It's in my blood I think. And looking at things so bigger than you really remind you how small you are. But it's so pretty, you don't feel insignificant: just small. I hope I can see God in the rest of my life as much as I see Him in those trees.
Sarah

Our God is a Big God

"Our God is a Big God."

I had a great conversation with a friend yesterday and she was the one that made that comment. It struck me pretty hard yesterday and I've been reflecting on that ever since. I mean really, what a cool statement, right?! It's true, our God is a BIG God. He has our backs, wants to free us, wants to love us, and will always be there. Yet most of the time I forgot that He ultimately can and will do anything for us if we turn to Him. That gives me so much hope.

Lately, I've been in a place of making a lot of distractions for myself. It's that place where you try to fill in whatever you are feeling with so many other things rather then dealing with it. I bet you know what I mean. I wanted to be my own god in a way. Ah, that's a little scary. But I think that place which I was in doesn't actually allow God to move in amazing ways. I made Him into a really small God. It was a little backwards.

I don't want to live in a place where I do not allow God to be big if that makes sense. What would happen if people that believed in God started to really trust God and believed that He could do things for us, our community, and our world? He's a BIG God! Nothing is impossible for Him. Nothing! No matter what I'm going through, what my friends are going through, what the people on the streets are going through, God will be there.

Thank you, God, for being a big God!

Much love,
Stacie :)

Deep Wells and Homemade Desserts

One terrific perk about our group here is that we usually have tremendous homemade desserts around. These can vary from cookies to apple pie and brownies to flaming oranges (yes, we actually ignite them). Because of the handiwork of our group bakers, me not included, we have had the pleasure of providing these goodies to the group we hang out with at Lamb's Cottage. There is something about a handcrafted cookie or brownie that spurs conversation. These conversations can range from exchanging pleasantries to introspective muses on spirituality or the state of homelessness in Eugene. Whatever the topic, homemade desserts help to put us in a place of commonality to begin these engagements.

"Jacob's well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well.... When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, 'Will you give me a drink?' The Samaritan woman said to Him, 'You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?' (For Jews did not associate with Samaritans). Jesus answered her, 'If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked Him and He would have given you living water.' 'Sir,' the woman said, 'you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water?'

At this point, Jesus has engaged this woman in conversation and goes on to reveal some painful truths, but in doing so shines the light on her need for Him, the Son of God. Jesus, in His humanness, was tired and thirsty and He happened to meet this lady, who was from a people who opposed Jews and vice versa. He began a conversation by asking for some water. Sure, I believe that Jesus knew exactly what He was doing and where the conversation would lead, but it is interesting to see the beginning of it.

The story resumes later with the woman leaving her water jar and going back to town to tell others about this encounter with a man who says He is the Messiah. She testified as to what He said and what He knew about her and how He offered living water. They urged Jesus to stick around for a couple more days.

"And because of His words many more became believers. They said to the woman, 'We no longer believe just because of what you said; now we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this man really is the Savior of the world.'"

You see, when Jesus sat next to the deep well to rest, He engaged into conversation with the Samaritan woman and met her where she was at. Through this conversation she believed in Him and many others believed because of the words Jesus had to share. As we continue to journey though our life in His Kingdom, we should be ready to engage people where they are at. Each and every person is different, but each desires to be known. That is what is so miraculous about Jesus; He shared His message with many people, but interacted with them differently. So, whether we are resting next to a deep well or sharing a homemade treat with our neighbor (including those who you would never see yourself associating with), we can listen, talk, and share life with people and give them the good news of the Living Water.

D

Sundays

For a while now, we've been helping out at Lamb's Cottage on Sunday nights. It's a small building in a park near by where people can get a meal as well as "soul food" (as dave refers to it as). This week was kinda special for us. Our friends who usually run it were gone this week and trusted us to give the meal and the message. Here's a few pics.
Kitchen Time

Dinner

Tables

Lonely Cupcake

Heartbeat

Have you ever listened to your heartbeat? Pretty crazy huh? I mean, this muscle keeps pace like the rhythm of a metronome for our entire lives. Sometimes it accelerates quickly like when we are going up a flight of stairs or see a large bee (not me). And, sometimes it seems to drag on slowly like after a nice three hour nap (Drew knows what I am talking about). But, in general, we go about our daily lives not ever noticing the 80 beats per minute it ticks along. My Mom was just out here for a few days and it was a lot of fun having her in Oregon. We drove around and saw the coast, the mountains, and even a couple waterfalls up close. Whenever we have visitors, I tend to reflect on life out here. I am not sure why that is; maybe I am able to slow down a little bit and begin to notice all of the things going on around me. My life has become increasing busy over the last six months, mainly because 40 hours a week of it is spent in a bank, but also because we have met some great friends out here and have spent a lot of time hanging with them. Amongst this business challenges have also arisen. There are times where I wonder how things are going to work out, how bills will be paid, and how our future is going to look. I worry myself about these questions and most of the time try to figure it out on my own accord. Recently, Staci and I have seen answers to these challenges come about in ways we couldn't have anticipated. Now that I reflect on this, I realize that God is behind all of it, He always has been and always will be. Unfortunately, I do not take the time to sit and enjoy this truth enough. I notice it, but then I continue on with my "busy" day. This is not completely unlike noticing my heartbeat. Our Father is always working for us, always loving us, always. He tells Moses that His name is "I Am." He is always present, even when we aren't paying attention. I desire to slow down so that I can see more clearly the work He is doing in my life. I want to be more in tune to His voice, which David says in the Psalms is like a gentle whisper. So, as I am quiet enough to hear the melodic bass in my chest, maybe I can hear the gentle words of my Creator whispering "I Am."

D

Impossible & Possible

Last night at our Sunday gathering we discussed Mark 10:17-31. In the past when I've heard this passage preached it has generally revolved around the idea of money and how money can become a road block to the Kingdom of God, especially if we love it more than we do God. But last night we spent most of the night focussing in on two other truths from that passage, namely that with God all things are possible (v.27) and that Christ Himself (through his Church) makes up one hundred fold for everything that is lacking when we 'leave everything to follow' Jesus (vv.28-31). I think the first truth that Jesus declares in v.27 is the one that has encouraged me the most recently. Shortly after I got out to Eugene, I began to get an overwhelming sense of helplessness here. And truth be told, I am confronted by that feeling a lot. To this point, I've never questioned our calling to Eugene, but the work that God has called us to do here does feel impossible. I find myself asking the same question the disciples asked to one another in v.26, who then can be saved? What an interesting question that is, especially coming from the disciples. Remember in Mark 1:17-18, Jesus invited them to follow Him and He would make them fishers of men. And at once they left their nets and followed him. Here they are, they've left everything (more than any of our church plant team has left) to follow Jesus for the sake of the gospel and now they've come face to face with the impossibility of the task they've been called to. With man this is impossible... What a helpless feeling? I kind of imagine Jesus pausing for quite some time after saying that first part of v.27. The kind of pause that makes everyone listening uncomfortable, not sure if they should do or say anything or just wait out the akward silence. But maybe Jesus had to pause to let the reality of the human condition sink in, namely that it is impossible for man to enter the kingdom of God in and of himself. That it's impossible for us to change the hearts of any of our friends here in Eugene in and of ourselves. And just when we begin to recognize the gravity of our condition, Jesus breaks the long pause...all things are possible with God. Maybe it's not so bad to feel helpless after all. Maybe it's not so bad to feel like the mission we've been called to in Eugene is impossible. Maybe that's exactly where God wants us to be! God shows up when the situation is impossible, period. Maybe our lives are meant to be lived in the healthy tension between feeling helpless and hopeful, fearful and faithful, desperate and dependent, maybe that's exactly where God wants us to be. I guess my prayer now is that Jesus will help me to live in the tension between the impossible and possible. The impossible so that I'm always reminded that I can't change anyone...the possible so that I'm always reminded that God alone can...and does!

Clint