This past year (plus a few months) has been a time that I cannot seem identify the stages, or the words with which to describe the stages, God has taken both my husband and I through (hence, the very few blogs!). 14 months ago Derek and I moved to Eugene with the purpose in mind of sharing abundant life, love and rescue offered through Jesus. Never had I imagined what God had in store for our own lives in order to experience that ourselves. And, it's funny now looking back and recalling Derek's boldness and prayer for God to bring suffering into our lives that we may grow and really experience Him...boy, oh boy!

The best I can think to describe this past year for us is a constant state of confusion. Confusion at what our lives are going to look like and how to pursue that next step when we don't even really know what we were stepping toward. I am coming to realize that perhaps the confusion comes from the fact that our hearts and perceptions have been taken to the furnace and are being reoriented from our old ways when the next step was clear to us: advance and climb the ladder this world has created. God has really been patient with us as we continue to learn what He values versus what this world values; and, unfortunately, what I had unknowingly begun to value over Him. While I continue to seek God's guidance and struggle to let go, I am thankful and hopeful that our pursuit is shifting from this "earn more" mentality to "seek ye first the kingdom..." While God could very rightfully keep us in a state of constant confusion as we grasp for some sort of handle of what's next, He is merciful and gives us these undeserved moments of grace and gifts of hope. God is God. He is not required to show any sort of tangible evidence that He is faithful and in control. And, I really ought to be able to just believe. Yet, He allows me a moment, an experience that I can grab onto and rejoice in. He is worthy.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Eph. 3:20-21

Staci