life.is.messy.

life is messy, right? well, it might not be messy to some people and i really can't speak for everyone. i'll just speak for me. my life, in it's current state, is messy. i live by my regular day to day activities, while juggling the other stuff that suddenly just pops up out of nowhere, which is usually the messy stuff. by messy i mean, being hurt, stresses, unrealistic expectations, or anything that you can think of and remember that is usually, but not always, negative.

in these moments i really try to dig deep into God. i have prayed, read, and listened to music that help soothe my soul, yet i still feel empty, but i don't feel alone. i even tried to repeat over and over again that i am ok. i was not ok and it's ok that i wasn't ok. life.is.messy. david understood that in the psalms. he got it and helps me to be ok with not always being ok.

part of me fights to keep everything together at all times. seriously, ugh, i hate that about me. who really wants to admit that you aren't ok? what good does it do to hold it all inside? i know i'm not freed from a lot of my junk when i keep it all inside that's for sure.

thank you God for your patience in your body. we don't get it half the time, well maybe like most of the time. there is nothing more than a body of believers getting together, sharing in their own messiness, and being freed. it makes me want to share, to be real, to be vulnerable, and to not be fearful that i am living life along. i want to meet people where they are in their own brokenness. we are all jaded, hurt, and live in some pretty messy lives. my life might not seem that messy to you or your life might not seem that messy to me, but somehow, someway, we are learning how to meet each other right where we are. God is definitely up to something bigger with us. He's even up to something bigger with His church.

John 10:10 is what i hear when i can't hear anything else.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

much love,
stacie :)