Hello Oregonians

I would like to warn you that I have been up since 4 am, I have consumed two containers of chocolate ice cream, and I am polishing off my second pint of whole milk...so as a result I offer no guarantees that this will resemble anything close to coherent.
I would like to offer my apologies for my lack of communication with you all. When Clint and Rachel came back and told me that many of you expected more communication from the management team, I felt very convicted. As a member of the team I should be checking in with you guys much more frequently than what I have. I may be in the hospital because the lower half of my body doesnt seem to work, but emailing and calling on a phone requires only muscles above the waist. This means I could have shot you an email, posted on here, or made a phone call...and I have done none. For that I offer my deepest apologies. My cell phone number is 374-8647 and my email is rdreid7602@gmail.com. Feel free to call or email anytime that you would like.
With that said, I would like to share a story with you. The experience I have had with becoming paralyzed has been the most challenging experience of my life. However, it has also been and will continue to be the most transformational experience of my life. As you can imagine, I am much more dependent on other people right now. One of the side effects of this whole experience has been that my right hand has become significantly weaker. I do not have that much grip with it and I do not have the normal range of movement with it because of the burns. This has caused me to need other people to open a pack of ketchup, to reach certain objects, etc. I am also bed ridden most of the day. All of the stuff I use - food, the computer, my cell phone, books - are stored on tables that slide over my bed. However, often times these tables are stored outside of my reach. This requires me to call a nurse or ask someone that is in the room to push the table closer so I can reach it. I am currently allowed to sit up in a chair for 2 hours a day. The chair they are putting me in cannot be wheeled by me because it doesnt have big wheels. It has to be pushed by someone else. This means that even when I am sitting up I still need someone else to push me around. This level of dependency is EXTREMELY frustrating for me. As result, when I am in therapy, I am pushing myself really hard because I want to be more independent. I get frustrated with my progress because by this point I wanted to be able to be in my wheel chair, able to roll myself around, and not need other people as much as what I do.
I tell you all of this not to gain sympathy, of which I want none, but to say that I understand the desire of wanting things to change faster than what they are able to be changed. All of the independence I want now is going to take time and lots of effort to obtain. It is not possible for it to happen now, and in all honesty God wants it that way. The goals we set and the visions God gives us often take time to achieve. God is a god who is much more concerned with the process than the end result. God doesnt care when I become fully independent, because He wants to teach me and refine me during this process of realizing that goal.
I was reading Proverbs and came across this little gem that really sums up what I have been going through..."He who works his land will have abundant food, but he who chases fantasies lacks judgment." Working the land takes time. I have fantasies of the fast route, but God wants me to slow down and be refined by the journey.
You guys are working the land there in Eugene. I know it is easy to want things to happen fast. After all you guys are planting a church...churches are supposed to grow and yours hasnt. I think that is because God wants to spend some time working not only the soil there in Eugene but also the soil in your own hearts. I know it can be easy to have fantasies of what it could look like, but just take a while (and I am talking about months...not just 5-10 minutes) to let God do some work in you. God doesnt care about what your church looks like...He cares about refining you to be more like Him.
I havent been to a church service in months. I havent listened to a single sermon in months. I havent listened to a single worship song. Yet I have experienced church more in the past two months than any other time in my life. I have had people love on me and my family to such an extent that I have no choice but to sit back in awe. I have seen both friends and total strangers pour out of their hearts in the most profound ways. The effect it has had on me has been that it has softened my heart and caused me to want to pour into other peoples lives. God seems to use struggle and tragedy as His biggest tool to change our hearts. That is what I now understand church to be. It is living a life with other people that causes heart changes and makes you love God and other people more. This can take place with 10 people or 100.
So when you are evaluating the success of your church plant ask yourselves these questions:
Is your heart being softened or awakened in such a way that it causes you to love God and other people more?
Is your life and the way you live it, helping other people to have their hearts softened and awakened to love God and other people more?
Dont ask yourself these questions:
Have I gotten anyone saved?
Has our church grown?
Does our church plant look more like "normal" church?
Did I remember to make my bed? (why make your bed if your going to sleep in it again the next night?!?)
As an outsider looking in, it seems you are positionally exactly where God would want you to be. All of your jobs are relational. You live close to each other. You are getting involved in each others lives. You are being friendly to the people you meet and work with. What I cant judge as an outsider is where your hearts are at. It is easy to get sucked into worrying about positional type things, but my encouragement and prayer for you is that God would give you rest from worrying about those type things and instead allow you to focus on what God is doing in your heart to refine you and help you to love Him and people better.
I love you guys and am inspired by your constant desire to do what God wants you to do. Thanks for letting me journey with you.

Love,
RD