life.is.messy.

life is messy, right? well, it might not be messy to some people and i really can't speak for everyone. i'll just speak for me. my life, in it's current state, is messy. i live by my regular day to day activities, while juggling the other stuff that suddenly just pops up out of nowhere, which is usually the messy stuff. by messy i mean, being hurt, stresses, unrealistic expectations, or anything that you can think of and remember that is usually, but not always, negative.

in these moments i really try to dig deep into God. i have prayed, read, and listened to music that help soothe my soul, yet i still feel empty, but i don't feel alone. i even tried to repeat over and over again that i am ok. i was not ok and it's ok that i wasn't ok. life.is.messy. david understood that in the psalms. he got it and helps me to be ok with not always being ok.

part of me fights to keep everything together at all times. seriously, ugh, i hate that about me. who really wants to admit that you aren't ok? what good does it do to hold it all inside? i know i'm not freed from a lot of my junk when i keep it all inside that's for sure.

thank you God for your patience in your body. we don't get it half the time, well maybe like most of the time. there is nothing more than a body of believers getting together, sharing in their own messiness, and being freed. it makes me want to share, to be real, to be vulnerable, and to not be fearful that i am living life along. i want to meet people where they are in their own brokenness. we are all jaded, hurt, and live in some pretty messy lives. my life might not seem that messy to you or your life might not seem that messy to me, but somehow, someway, we are learning how to meet each other right where we are. God is definitely up to something bigger with us. He's even up to something bigger with His church.

John 10:10 is what i hear when i can't hear anything else.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

much love,
stacie :)

What a weekend!

This past weekend we had a group of 9 people come from Indiana and California. Paul, Marsha, and Caleb Schlegel, Brett and Claire Black, Adam and Rene Everhart, and Greg and Kim Snodgrass (I hope I spelled everyone's name right...). Anyway, they came late on Friday night and took a red-eye home on Sunday night. They came to spend some time with our church plant and help out with a community event our church hosted this past Sunday for the poor and hungry of Eugene.. The event was in partnership with a Christian ministry in Eugene called Free People (www.freepeopleeugene.com). Their mission is to serve the poor of Eugene/Springfield and they have been a tremendous blessing to Awakening Church. Anyway, we rented out a performance hall in Eugene and threw a party with free food, clothes, and live music. It was a great day and we served nearly 450 plates of food. We are so thankful for our friends from Indiana and California who sacrificed work days, money, and time away from family and friends to come and spend a couple of days with us. Their time and presence encouraged us so much. Our church loves it when people come and visit us. We love to host people and show off our city. So if you're thinking about coming out, we'd love to have you.

Anyway, thank you so much to our friends from Indiana and California who encouraged us so greatly this past weekend.

Just for the fun of it, I put up some recent photos of the family, Halloween, pumpkin patch, and this past weekend. Enjoy!

Clint

Grace

I am called to worship and live my life for Jesus. It's not just a calling, it's what gives me the most joy. Yet I fail so much at it. I'm not sure I will ever understand the full extent of grace, but one thing that sticks out to me the most is a psalm that talks about how we may stumble, but God will never let us trip. Thank goodness! I don't know about you, but there are so many times where I just feel like I am walking around, barely able to stand up anymore. We can easily stumble over anything, but God will not let me trip and fall down so hard that I just can't get up again. He's not going to beat me up, but I sure do.

Grace.

He does love me so much that he continues to grab me in His hands and balances me. I would say that I sometimes forget how much God loves me, but in actuality I think I forget that more than sometimes. I need help remembering that I am loved. It makes me extremely grateful, more than ever, to be journeying with people that share with me that I am loved and give me more grace than I deserve.

Grace and Love,
Stacie

This past year (plus a few months) has been a time that I cannot seem identify the stages, or the words with which to describe the stages, God has taken both my husband and I through (hence, the very few blogs!). 14 months ago Derek and I moved to Eugene with the purpose in mind of sharing abundant life, love and rescue offered through Jesus. Never had I imagined what God had in store for our own lives in order to experience that ourselves. And, it's funny now looking back and recalling Derek's boldness and prayer for God to bring suffering into our lives that we may grow and really experience Him...boy, oh boy!

The best I can think to describe this past year for us is a constant state of confusion. Confusion at what our lives are going to look like and how to pursue that next step when we don't even really know what we were stepping toward. I am coming to realize that perhaps the confusion comes from the fact that our hearts and perceptions have been taken to the furnace and are being reoriented from our old ways when the next step was clear to us: advance and climb the ladder this world has created. God has really been patient with us as we continue to learn what He values versus what this world values; and, unfortunately, what I had unknowingly begun to value over Him. While I continue to seek God's guidance and struggle to let go, I am thankful and hopeful that our pursuit is shifting from this "earn more" mentality to "seek ye first the kingdom..." While God could very rightfully keep us in a state of constant confusion as we grasp for some sort of handle of what's next, He is merciful and gives us these undeserved moments of grace and gifts of hope. God is God. He is not required to show any sort of tangible evidence that He is faithful and in control. And, I really ought to be able to just believe. Yet, He allows me a moment, an experience that I can grab onto and rejoice in. He is worthy.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Eph. 3:20-21

Staci

Chowder with Crowder

What a story I have to share with you! As many of you know, Elias has been a gigantic David Crowder fan since he was born (seriously). Anytime we would play David Crowder he would just chill out and just focus on the music. As he grew older he began to sing David Crowder songs and watch concerts of the David Crowder Band. His grandpa got him a guitar and he would play along and mimic everything David Crowder did on the DVD. In the last 6-9 months he began to get really into drums. He began talking about Bwack, the drummer for the David Crowder Band. He would set up boxes, clothes baskets, and pretty much anything else that made sounds and would bang those things like crazy. In all reality, Elias amazes me with his rhythmical ability at such a young age.

Anyway, a couple of months ago we heard that the David Crowder Band was coming to Eugene for their new Church Music concert. We freaked out needless to say. We told Elias about it and he freaked out! Well, in true Rachel and Clint form we procrastinated about buying our tickets until 2 days before the concert. Truly, we were hesitant in buying 3 tickets because it was pretty expensive for us. Two days before the concert, Rachel was listening to the Christian radio station and they had a contest to win 2 Tickets to the David Crowder Band Concert. On top of that, the winner would get to meet the band before the concert over some Clam Chowder Soup (hence "Chowder with Crowder"). Anyway, Rachel called in and submitted her name in the morning. I didn't think twice about it, but later that evening Rachel got a call from the radio station and she had won. ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!! We flipped out! (I would like to think that God was rewarding us for our procrastination but I don't think that's it...ha!) So we headed to the concert 2 days later and took Elias with us. We got to meet and hang out with the David Crowder Band and Elias got to talk with David Crowder and Bwack. Elias was kind of shy. I don't think he knew what the do since he watches them on TV all the time. Anyway, the band was so cool and friendly and we thanked them so much for their time. We took some pictures and then went to the concert. Elias had a blast and played the air drums all night long. It ended up being way past his bed time and he actually feel asleep for the last two songs.

It was an incredible night and Rachel and I were so grateful that God had given us this beautiful gift. Elias will never forget that experience. It kind of reminded us of Matthew 7:7-12. Rachel and I, not being nearly perfect, were able to give our son a good gift. How much more does our perfect father in heaven want to give good gifts to us. What an incredible God we serve!

Clint

P.S. Elias didn't want to stop and take pictures during the concert...thus the not so happy facial expressions...ha!

Few Words...Many Pics

So, I noticed that I haven't written since July 6th. Wow!!! My bad! There has been way too much happen since then for me to try to write it all. So I'll summarize the big things and then put some pics up for you all to check out. I do sincerely apologize for not writing in the last 2-3 months. I've just lost track of it and need to get on it again. Thank you to all who check this site and pray for us often.

A quick summary...

Jael moved from her crib to a big girl (twin size) bed. Rachel and kids frequented the local farms this summer to pick all kinds of berries...yum! We took the kids camping this summer, which they love doing. My sister and nephew visited from Indianapolis. Elias turned 4 and we had a great birthday party. We bought him a drum set for his birthday (pic to come soon) and we're wondering if that was a good or bad idea...ha! Our friend Jill Reid visited from Indiana and we were blessed to have her. My parents (and older sister) visited and were here for almost 2 weeks. Elias started pre-school 3 days/week and absolutely loves it. We went to the Ocean and the Portland Zoo. The kids played almost every day with their neighbor friends. We have 8 kids between the ages of 7 weeks - 4 years in our little corner of the apartment complex.

We had a great first summer in Eugene!!!

Blessings,

Cint

Roller coaster

I find it completely interesting how in a 24 hour time span I can go from completely relaxed and content to completely overwhelmed and stressed out. I do feel like my life is just on one crazy roller coaster and like it or not I'm on it for the ride.

Today I spent the bike ride commute home just desperately trying to find some calmness and peace in my endless thinking brain. I passed some turtles, ducks, too many bees to count, grasshoppers, and a whole lot of quietness. It was good. I realized that even though my brain wants to go really fast on that roller coaster my eyes can experience the life around me.

So I'm learning how to balance the times in my life where I want to find some peace and calm when my brain does not want to stop. I want to look more and see life, not have it just pass me by. God has created so many beautiful things that I want to see, not miss.

Enjoy life today, friends. Peace to you.

Much love,
Stacie :)